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Patrick: I thought you didn't dye your hair!

Patrick: All that junk about Dorche hair not taking dye...

Patrick: Not ringing a bell...? No...?

Mysterious One: No. Though, it is rather beautiful, is it not?

Patrick: You're not Geth, are you?

Mysterious One: My dear Patrick, whatever gave you such a thought?
Patrick: Definitely not Geth. Well, that explains things...

Patrick: Sorta...

Patrick: What are you then?

Mysterious One: I can be many things... especially now.

Patrick: Uuuuuuummmmmmm......

Patrick: Uuuuhhhhhhh......

Patrick: Can I get a hint?
Mysterious One: Is not my mere appearance enough?

Patrick: Hmmm...

Patrick: *shrug* I give up.

Mysterious One: Shall I give you a nip on the hand or perhaps be more direct.

Patrick: I could gouge out your eyeballs, though I may not be as nimble doing so in this form.
Patrick: Uhhh...

Mysterious One: Oh, these legs! Quite remarkable, really.

Mysterious One: Many things can be done with such legs!
Patrick: Nigel?

Nigel: Indeed.

Patrick: But you're a dude!
Nigel: Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me. But, yes, I suppose I do resemble of one of these "dudes" of which you speak.

Patrick: I mean, you're not a little, furry thing anymore!

Patrick: You're a big, blond human thing!
Nigel: Big, blond human thing?

Patrick: Yeah! How'd that happen?
Nigel: This is my true form.

Patrick: I was cursed to be an easily portable animal due to some... misbehavior.

Patrick: Naria was kind enough to take advantage of a few circumstances and transform me back.
Patrick: Cool! How?

Nigel: Counteract my previous behavior, naturally.

Patrick: And perhaps enable a few other things...

Patrick: Oh, so that's why you helped Geth and Syrina!

Nigel: Yeeessssss...
Patrick: Awesome!

Patrick: Now, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, mostly cause hamsters are really short, but I think this change could bring about the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Nigel: Unfortunately, I think not.
Patrick: *heartbroken* But why?!

Nigel: Think of it! My time here now has far less restrictions.
Patrick: You're leaving?!

Nigel: I'll never really leave. I'll still be here in mind if not body, hovering over everyone's shoulder, whispering things to them when they think it's their own conscience...
Patrick: *confused* Huh?

Nigel: *smirk* Farewell for now, Patrick. Our times together have been most amusing.

Patrick: *teary-eyed* 'Bye, Nigel! Love you, man!!

Patrick: I'm gonna miss that freaky little dude. *sniff*

Maggie: Well, Lorna's all settled in, so...

Maggie: Why are you crying?
Patrick: *sniff* Nigel... he's...

Patrick: GONE!!
Maggie: O... K...

Maggie: But you don't even like Nigel.

Patrick: *sobbing* But things were gonna be different now that he's human!
Maggie: What?!

Patrick: Nigel. Is. HUMAN!

Maggie: *dumbfounded silence*

Patrick: HUMAN!

Maggie: I'm not listening to this.
Patrick: Mag! Wait! It's the truth!

Patrick: WAIT!

Lorna: Moron.


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